Chaotic Carving- A Historical Experiment

I am not a fan of turnips. As a child, I used to fear the moment at dinner parties the turnip mash would be set before me, waiting for me to eat a sizeable, earthy bite so that I would not offend my hosts. With this consideration in mind, I would gingerly place a small dollop on my plate, far away from my precious gravy and applesauce. Then, I would lift the mush towards my mouth ever so slowly, trying not to make eye contact with anyone at the table before taking a bite. The bitter, dirty flavour was so unpalatable I had to force myself not to spit the offending vegetable mush into the clean linen napkin on my lap with a satisfying, “BLECH.” To this day, I do not quite care for turnips. I would much prefer a potato or even a dosage of brussels sprouts to steer away from the turnip. I stare at the bone and plum coloured root on grocery shelves with a sense of suspicion.

But there remains one thing that has fascinated me about my starchy nemesis, and that is the fact that turnips were the predecessors to our modern version of the jack-o-lantern. I remember reading folklore as a child and thinking about how interesting this practice had fuelled our everyday habits. The history student and culinary diva within me wanted to know more about this practice and how hard it might be to carve a turnip. Watching the English Heritage How To Carve a Halloween Turnip video is not enough for me. I need to know what it feels to carve a turnip with my own two hands. I have been practicing my pumpkin carving skills: whittling away at different cartoon characters’ images and the like onto cheery orange pumpkins for the past couple of years. I think that it might be possible for me to begin my graduation to the humble turnip.

…We shall see how this goes.

Step One: Acquiring the Turnip

I do not buy turnips out of habit. I do not know how one is supposed to choose a turnip. Given that this is supposed to be a jack-o-lantern, I feel like there needs to be some parameters.

Firstly- The turnip must be quite giant so that I have space to cut off the bottom and the top while still having room to carve a face.

Secondly- It needs to be an ugly turnip. The more lumps, bumps, and gouges, the better. My turnip son will be a frightening creature, and he will be loved even though I do not generally like turnips.

With that, let us go onwards towards the local grocery store.

I approached the familiar grey and white building of IGA with determination, letting other people enter before me; I masked up, applied some of the hand sanitizer and went on my mission.

Within minutes I found the turnip section.

There were tiny turnips, medium turnips, ugly turnips and more, but not the Big Boi I was looking for.

But then, I reached my hand behind a round of cabbage perched on top of the turnips and found at the back of the bin...my little turnip boy.

Well, not so little. He was huge. His lumps were perfect, he had so many gouges it could make a grown person weep, and he had hair for days. He was beautiful—my perfect turnip. I quickly placed him into a bag, began my walk to the cash register and promptly got distracted. (I came out with two packets of peanut butter brownie mix and two boxes of thin mints along with my turnip son.) After my little tangent down the aisles, I went to the register and paid for my spoils and left promptly before I could discover anything else to spend money on. IGA is my weakness.

Step Two: The Treatment

I meandered home and quickly baked myself a pan of said peanut butter brownies before sitting down with the turnip. I began what I have come to refer to as the treatment by giving him a nice bubble bath with some Dawn and asking my cohost for a name.

She chose Jach's name (Pronounced like Zach), and I decided it was worthy of my new turnip child.

After this, I proceeded with stage two of the treatment by giving him a nice hair cut AND CHOPPED HIS BOTTOM OFF.

Aka, I sliced off the top and bottom of the turnip to have a flat resting spot and a lid, as per the directions of the English Heritage video.

Then began the third stage of the treatment where I turned on a true crime show (I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, thank you for asking.), set up some newspaper and a cutting board with a spoon and a knife, and began to gut little Jach of his turnip insides, leaving a half centimetre of turnip for the outside of the jack-o-lantern. As per the directions of the aforementioned video, I made a cross-hatch pattern using my knife before spooning out the inside of the turnip, which did, in fact, make the painstaking process of gutting a lot easier. However, I found that this process had to be repeated to be able even to remove the turnip filling.

I scraped.

And I scraped.

And I scraped until my boy was hollow.

It was an arduous process as turnips are very hard. I had made the mistake of wearing a velvet sweater, so I was sweating like it was the middle of august by the time I was done. Then I smoothed off the walls before carving a sweet little smile into his face. That was the easiest part of the treatment; it has to be said.

Step Three: Supermodel

Once I wiped little Jack clean of any of his old guts, tidied the area of my carving, and forced myself away from the tv. I decided it was time for a photo session.

Jach was very photogenic. He was effortless in front of the camera. His gentle smile was so easy to photograph. But it was time. I had created my child, and now I had to do a Victor Frankenstein. I abandoned sweet little Jach on my porch, where he could share his smiles with the world during this dark time.

Step 4: Reflect

I was done with my mission. I now knew the answers I wished to know. Carving a pumpkin is much easier than a turnip, but a turnip is a more frightening lantern to have on one’s doorstep.

As a historian, I believe that there are ways a person can experience history that is not just limited to history books' readings. I believe that interpreting material in a nonacademic setting can also help us think about the interdisciplinary approaches we can take to the past. It is why we travel to places, so that we may step in the footsteps that came before. It is why we can see the rise of people recreating historical clothing in their traditional methods. I think trying out the old methods of making handicrafts, cooking food, or even making a little decoration for a holiday can help one learn about history in a new and ultimately fun way.

If you have an idea about a historical practice or recipe that I can recreate, please let us know in the comments or on our blog’s submission page. I would be happy to give them a try to the best of my abilities and with my budget.

Until next time,

Viktoria

P.S. Please look at our Halloween podcast episode if you would like to continue consuming spooky content. It is a lot of fun. Or check out my chaotic video on making this whole thing.

Citation:

"How To Carve A Halloween Turnip." Youtube Video. 2:40. Posted By "English Heritage," September 24th 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxT49g662Sk.